And here what happens when Eurovision comes to Russia ;)
пятница, 15 мая 2009 г.
четверг, 14 мая 2009 г.
понедельник, 11 мая 2009 г.
пятница, 8 мая 2009 г.
вторник, 28 апреля 2009 г.
Another wired dream!
So this time me and my dad went to have a vacation in some foreigner country. And as we were riding on a sunny road we saw the shady castle up on the mountain. So we decided to go and see what it is.
We walked in, and saw that it's an hotel based in the really old building. So we asked the hostess, what was the building for, before in turned in to hotel.
The answer was saying that long time ago, the girls private school used to be located here. And something terrible happened to all on the girls. So the school was closed.
For some reason we decided to stay in the hotel, and as I was walking through it at night, I saw lady in ages wearing an old style closes (around1800 th), and she was walking to me.
So we stared to talk.... She told me that she is the teacher of the class that is studying here, than she showed me the girls and introduced me to her assistant, who was a middle age bold guy.
After a long talk we had, she told me that they are all immortal, and that if I want, I can be immortal too because of my family roots. It all sounded so right, just like I belong there... And the idea of being immortal was pretty attractive...
Only when I woke up from a sound of a very strong wind blowing though my window, I realised that being immortal in that castle would mean death for me.
Yap this is the king of the dreams I have)))
See ya next time, my friends!
We walked in, and saw that it's an hotel based in the really old building. So we asked the hostess, what was the building for, before in turned in to hotel.
The answer was saying that long time ago, the girls private school used to be located here. And something terrible happened to all on the girls. So the school was closed.
For some reason we decided to stay in the hotel, and as I was walking through it at night, I saw lady in ages wearing an old style closes (around1800 th), and she was walking to me.
So we stared to talk.... She told me that she is the teacher of the class that is studying here, than she showed me the girls and introduced me to her assistant, who was a middle age bold guy.
After a long talk we had, she told me that they are all immortal, and that if I want, I can be immortal too because of my family roots. It all sounded so right, just like I belong there... And the idea of being immortal was pretty attractive...
Only when I woke up from a sound of a very strong wind blowing though my window, I realised that being immortal in that castle would mean death for me.
Yap this is the king of the dreams I have)))
See ya next time, my friends!
среда, 8 апреля 2009 г.
пятница, 3 апреля 2009 г.
Normal?
Are you trying to be special?
Every day I'm starting my morning by trying to be little bit more like normal people. To be happy from the things that makes others happy, to care about stuff that's important to others, to act like people expect me to act. Why? So I won't end up alone in my room, writing this blog ;). And every time I start to get closer, every time I believe I can do that, something inside of me brakes and I just turn away from the world and hide inside my self, knowing that I just can't meet anyone like me...
It's nice to be different, but it's just really lonely.
Every day I'm starting my morning by trying to be little bit more like normal people. To be happy from the things that makes others happy, to care about stuff that's important to others, to act like people expect me to act. Why? So I won't end up alone in my room, writing this blog ;). And every time I start to get closer, every time I believe I can do that, something inside of me brakes and I just turn away from the world and hide inside my self, knowing that I just can't meet anyone like me...
It's nice to be different, but it's just really lonely.
четверг, 5 марта 2009 г.
Relationship!
What is it? Do we start relationship when we start to date, and do we really end it when we break up? And why is it only called relationship when two people have sexual interest in each other? 
How about relationship between parents and they're children, or between friends? Aren't they important enough?
So what exactly do we call a relationship?
My friends are so much more important to me than anything else... They are more important than my family and of course they are more important than my boyfriends, because friendship is the thing for me that can last forever, friendship is something I can believe in, and aren't the love of your life supposed to be your best friend? Ok, I'm not saying that sex is not important part of life. But we all know that absolutely random sex can be pretty amazing! But we are people, not animals (well, at list some of us) and when we need help , when we are lonely, when we are happy or successful, who we want to share are life's with? Our lovers? No. Why? Because sex is just one of our needs, pretty fun need, but still, it's nothing more then an instinct. And again, aren't something you have between you and your lover can also be called relationship, just different one, the one where you care a little less.
So what is relationship? It is that communication you have between you and the other person. And how important it is, is only up to you... Just be careful, because from my experience people that crossed your road never live you completely even after they die.
But to finish on a more positive note, I would like to say thank you to my best friends, the ones that been there for me for many many years, who can see the real me and still love me. And to my new friends, the ones who were able to let me in to they're life's. Hope I won't disappoint you! You are the best relationship I've ever had!
Hugs ;)
пятница, 13 февраля 2009 г.
The Dream.
So I had one of those movie dreams. Where I was one of the main players. thy story line was this:
Company of a friends went for a vacation to some worm but northern worm type of a place. And one day they all were laying on a beach, there were two couples and one single girl - me. The other girls were acting bitchy to me and their boyfriends, so I decided to show off and started to flirt with the boys, while the girls left swimming.
On a next day we all were hanging out and playing with the water and I forgot to reserve the table for lunch. So as I was sitting in a bar and waiting, one of the guys from our company came to me and told me, that his girlfriend didn't show up and I can join him if I want. So I did.
We started to talk and it seemed that we had so much in common. Word after word he started to tell me that he has so much problems with his girlfriend and that they're not even having sex any more.
Somehow we end up at his place together.
The irony of the situation was in the fact that his girlfriend let me stay at her parents beautiful apartment there...
So... After we had sex, he decided to dump his girlfriend and of course I tried to stop him from doing that.
On a next scene he was talking to his friends and telling them that he's leaving his girl, that he met this other great woman and it's not just about sex, they have a connection. While I was sitting in his girlfriends apartment with her, listening about their problems and how he probably want to dump her. I was feeling terrible when I thought I heard his steps...
I tried to listen more carefully and realized that it's just my heartbeat.So I started to laugh and told the girl that I just missed her boyfriends steps with my heartbeat. And the second I told her, he knocked on a door.
She looked at me excited and said
- Oh my god! You could hear him from a mile, you're like a radar.
- Oh yes, like a radar, - I've answered, while walking to the door.
He started to walk in, and I knew, he wanted to say that he loves me and he want to be with me, so I shouted.
- Hey! What a coincidence, your girlfriend is here, torn away any went to take a shower.
On the third scene she was looking at the mirror (by the way the reflection was me), crying and saying to him:
- I know we are fucked up, and I know we did so many terrible things to each other, and I know I was acting bad lately.
And he was saying.
- No, listen to me, there is something I need to tell you, it's not all about you.
My heart stopped, as I was listening to there talk from the shower, I knew he's going to tell her.
Then she said:
- No it's me, it's all me, but what if we take love and care that we have for each other, - she was saying trough tears, - and just send it to all the bad things that happened to us, what if we really gonna try, because I love you so much and I don't wanna lose you...
He turned to her and said:
- Of Course darling, lets try again, and hugged her.
In the lust scene I was standing in the shower, crying (the really sad music was playing in a background) and watching how the water from the shower hits the floor. I knew, nobody loved me...
I woke up from the pain I was feeling and decided to have a tea and write about this story.
P.S. It was in English.
;)
Company of a friends went for a vacation to some worm but northern worm type of a place. And one day they all were laying on a beach, there were two couples and one single girl - me. The other girls were acting bitchy to me and their boyfriends, so I decided to show off and started to flirt with the boys, while the girls left swimming.
On a next day we all were hanging out and playing with the water and I forgot to reserve the table for lunch. So as I was sitting in a bar and waiting, one of the guys from our company came to me and told me, that his girlfriend didn't show up and I can join him if I want. So I did.
We started to talk and it seemed that we had so much in common. Word after word he started to tell me that he has so much problems with his girlfriend and that they're not even having sex any more.
Somehow we end up at his place together.
The irony of the situation was in the fact that his girlfriend let me stay at her parents beautiful apartment there...
So... After we had sex, he decided to dump his girlfriend and of course I tried to stop him from doing that.
On a next scene he was talking to his friends and telling them that he's leaving his girl, that he met this other great woman and it's not just about sex, they have a connection. While I was sitting in his girlfriends apartment with her, listening about their problems and how he probably want to dump her. I was feeling terrible when I thought I heard his steps...
I tried to listen more carefully and realized that it's just my heartbeat.So I started to laugh and told the girl that I just missed her boyfriends steps with my heartbeat. And the second I told her, he knocked on a door.
She looked at me excited and said
- Oh my god! You could hear him from a mile, you're like a radar.
- Oh yes, like a radar, - I've answered, while walking to the door.
He started to walk in, and I knew, he wanted to say that he loves me and he want to be with me, so I shouted.
- Hey! What a coincidence, your girlfriend is here, torn away any went to take a shower.
On the third scene she was looking at the mirror (by the way the reflection was me), crying and saying to him:
- I know we are fucked up, and I know we did so many terrible things to each other, and I know I was acting bad lately.
And he was saying.
- No, listen to me, there is something I need to tell you, it's not all about you.
My heart stopped, as I was listening to there talk from the shower, I knew he's going to tell her.
Then she said:
- No it's me, it's all me, but what if we take love and care that we have for each other, - she was saying trough tears, - and just send it to all the bad things that happened to us, what if we really gonna try, because I love you so much and I don't wanna lose you...
He turned to her and said:
- Of Course darling, lets try again, and hugged her.
In the lust scene I was standing in the shower, crying (the really sad music was playing in a background) and watching how the water from the shower hits the floor. I knew, nobody loved me...
I woke up from the pain I was feeling and decided to have a tea and write about this story.
P.S. It was in English.
;)
среда, 11 февраля 2009 г.
Some of my poems in Russian.
***
И тот же стол в кафе знакомом
И то же блюдо на столе
И за столом сидим мы снова
Как в прошлой жизни, в феврале.
И вроде та же официантка
Приносит виски нам со льдом,
А я как будто иностранка
Пропавшая в краю родном.
И ты все что-то объясняешь
О том, что нам не по пути
О том, что я теперь другая
О том, что должен ты уйти...
И с каждым словом я теряю
Желанье жить, любить, творить...
И словно лед в стакане, тает
Надежда вновь с тобою быть.
Ведь ты не прав, я не другая
Я та же что и год назад,
Я так же плохо засыпаю
Когда у нас с тобой разлад
Я так же по ночам летаю
Не приземляясь до утра
Свой дом, как прежде, убираю
Раз в год, при помощи ведра.
И так же при тебе теряюсь
Как будто мне пятнадцать лет
И себя так же уверяю
Что будем мы встречать рассвет.
Да, я все та же... Но другая
Ворвалась в сердце, словно шторм.
Сменив замки, и не пускает
Меня туда, где был мой дом...
И ты не можешь мне признаться,
Что чувства наши отпустил
Как страшно все же расставаться
С любимым, что тебя забыл.
***
Безобразно банально лягут строчки в слова
О любви и печали, чтобы в ней утануть
Ночь пронзит одиночеством силой пера
Как обычно, и слезы не дадут мне уснуть
Все не так как у всех. И все так же печально
Ты здесь был, тебя нет. Ты свободен теперь.
И надежда опять, невзначай, так случайно.
Упорхнет, в сквозняком не закрытую дверь.
И с мечтой попрощавшись, что была так реальна
Сердце снова забьется ровной нитью в груди
Если б знал, что во мне было яркое пламя.
Может быть, не позволил бы мне так уйти.
Ну и что, что сегодня все стало банально
Пусть закроет глаза безысходности муть
Пусть теперь я как раньше стала печальна
Ты ведь сердцу пустому не позволил уснуть.
***
Вечер, окно, сигарета и виски,
Ты не пришёл, значит выбрал её.
Я сохраню под замком переписки,
Может быть даже прощу тебе всё.
Может не буду сидеть в ожидании
Брошу бычок, не наполню стакан.
Может глаза, что сейчас так печальны,
Вновь превратятся в опасный капкан
Может быть вечер, несущий лишь холод
Снова наполнится запахом роз
И как сумел ты разрушить так скоро
Вновь восстановленный мир моих грёз.
***
И тот же стол в кафе знакомом
И то же блюдо на столе
И за столом сидим мы снова
Как в прошлой жизни, в феврале.
И вроде та же официантка
Приносит виски нам со льдом,
А я как будто иностранка
Пропавшая в краю родном.
И ты все что-то объясняешь
О том, что нам не по пути
О том, что я теперь другая
О том, что должен ты уйти...
И с каждым словом я теряю
Желанье жить, любить, творить...
И словно лед в стакане, тает
Надежда вновь с тобою быть.
Ведь ты не прав, я не другая
Я та же что и год назад,
Я так же плохо засыпаю
Когда у нас с тобой разлад
Я так же по ночам летаю
Не приземляясь до утра
Свой дом, как прежде, убираю
Раз в год, при помощи ведра.
И так же при тебе теряюсь
Как будто мне пятнадцать лет
И себя так же уверяю
Что будем мы встречать рассвет.
Да, я все та же... Но другая
Ворвалась в сердце, словно шторм.
Сменив замки, и не пускает
Меня туда, где был мой дом...
И ты не можешь мне признаться,
Что чувства наши отпустил
Как страшно все же расставаться
С любимым, что тебя забыл.
***
Безобразно банально лягут строчки в слова
О любви и печали, чтобы в ней утануть
Ночь пронзит одиночеством силой пера
Как обычно, и слезы не дадут мне уснуть
Все не так как у всех. И все так же печально
Ты здесь был, тебя нет. Ты свободен теперь.
И надежда опять, невзначай, так случайно.
Упорхнет, в сквозняком не закрытую дверь.
И с мечтой попрощавшись, что была так реальна
Сердце снова забьется ровной нитью в груди
Если б знал, что во мне было яркое пламя.
Может быть, не позволил бы мне так уйти.
Ну и что, что сегодня все стало банально
Пусть закроет глаза безысходности муть
Пусть теперь я как раньше стала печальна
Ты ведь сердцу пустому не позволил уснуть.
***
Вечер, окно, сигарета и виски,
Ты не пришёл, значит выбрал её.
Я сохраню под замком переписки,
Может быть даже прощу тебе всё.
Может не буду сидеть в ожидании
Брошу бычок, не наполню стакан.
Может глаза, что сейчас так печальны,
Вновь превратятся в опасный капкан
Может быть вечер, несущий лишь холод
Снова наполнится запахом роз
И как сумел ты разрушить так скоро
Вновь восстановленный мир моих грёз.
пятница, 19 декабря 2008 г.
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What's it gonna be.
Here goes my first blog in here. I've never been smart and confident enough to believe that my writing would be actually interesting for other people. But somehow I just want to share my world with you and I'm trying to make it less boring then typical "my life" talking.
And one more thing… I’m from