пятница, 5 апреля 2013 г.

To Sex or not to Sex.

Today I got to think about all of the sex rules.

One one hand everybody knows that sex is fun, well almost everybody... And on the other, we are not supposed to have to much of it, we are supposed to go on several dates if we don't want to seem cheap and easy. And we are not supposed to be talking about it.

Couple of days ago I was in a bar and a guy came to me, asking if I wanted to have a drink, the moment I saw him, I knew I will not be interested in having an intercourse, and so I told him:
 - You can, but I won't have sex with you.
Everyone around me, including a guy were shocked and offended. But why? Any woman or a man, being in a bar, can tell if they are interested in each-other within first 5 minutes, there rest is just foreplay. So isn't it more honest to just be clear about it?

I'll never believe that people come and get drunk in bars hoping to find their true love, we all come to have fun, drink and flirt. And in one out of a hundred times you'll see someone you are actually interested in (I'm not talking about bimbos and money bags). So why lie? Why can't we just do what we want to do and say what we wan't to say?

Why is it so hard for us to be honest? Even with ourselves?

четверг, 28 февраля 2013 г.

One day at a time, or life without relationship addiction.

 This article could be described as coming across bitter as it comes from experience of failed relationship. I believe in love and don’t think that all relationships has to be this way.

So the story is simple, I broke up with a guy, and not just a guy, but THE guy. Someone that I used to date for several years. Of course breakup was long and dramatic, but in the end it turned in to a blog of somehow fun facts about coupling.
Here we go:

As the title would suggest, I honestly think that relationship is just as addictive as any other drug and have exactly the same properties, such as:
Loss of identity, paranoia, depression, obsession etc.

First step – First dose.

So you’ve met a person, boom, you love everything about him/her. This means, it’s your type of drug:

·      At first you get high and feel fine only after 5 minutes of conversation. One SMS can keep you happy all day. Just like first dose of a drug needs to be little and will last for long.
·      If you don’t have addictive personality, you won’t get as high and won’t feel the need in the next dose as fast (for example, you won’t send 5 texts of “How are you? (Smiley face)” while he/she is on a meeting and can’t reply)
·      If you DO have addictive personality, after first high you’ll dedicate your life to the drug with one focus – get some more. Dignity, interests and even survival instincts can be lost.
·      Now it’s really important for people with the same addiction type to end up together, else - one would look crazy and the other – ignorant.

Second step – Deep in it.

Now lets say you are the same type of junkies. You love spending time together and you want to do it more and more often.  Maybe not too fast, but eventually you’ll end up living together. By this moment you are heavily addicted, so the drug doesn’t seem as strong and you need new ways of getting your flow going.

·      Usually one partner will be looking for a dose within the relationship when other will try to find another stronger drug (That’s when cheating comes in)
·      Inability of your loved one to get you as high as he/she used to, will lead you to feel anger and frustration with that person. In a good relationship both parties will try and get back that high.  In bad, they will fight all the time and eventually breakup (unless fighting brings back the ecstasy)

Step three – Struggle.

Now lets say, it didn’t work out, you couldn’t make yourself feel as good and the drug became useless.

·      That’s when you need something stronger, but remember – if it doesn’t make you as high, it don’t mean that you are not addicted any more, on the contrary you are now as strongly addicted as you ever were. Which means – you are not happy, but you can’t give it up.

After struggling to make it better, both of you start to realize that nothing good is going to come out of this. But since addiction is strong, people can stay in unhealthy relationship like this for years.

Step four - Everybody out!

Finally one of you decides to breakup. And comes the worst part of it – rehab.

·      Ability to quickly get over your drug will of course depend on many factors:
1 - Support of friends and family.
2 - Existence of life outside of relationship.
3 – Ability to make you addicted with something else (less harmful) for a while - replacement.
4 – Strong will.
5 – Need to take care of someone, something beside yourself.
And other factors of course – everyone has their own way of dealing with it.
·      The moment came; you’ve had the talk. It’s over, it’s painful and it’s time to move on. You go out for a drink with friends, everybody is super supportive and for a moment there you think that the worst part is over. But No. It’s just the beginning. Your body is still filled with drug, so as you might feel bad because of understanding that it’s over, you don’t know yet how it feels when your brain starts asking for its usual chemicals. After a couple of days you’ll feel the need… Need to talk to your loved one, to go have lunch or see a movie together. Why? Because your brain is used to it. So as it doesn’t get big doses of drug, it starts to ask you for something small, like – Text him/her – there is nothing wrong with one text…
·      And of course everything is wrong with one text. Because your ex partner is going through the same phase and if he/she will be as weak as you are, you’ll go right back in to being junkes again.
·      So you are back together and for 5 minutes there – you are happy. But your problems never went away. You are just feeling high, and since you haven’t had a dose for a while, the kick is strong again.
·      After your “happy time” passes, the failed relationship shows its ugly face, and the fighting and the blaming comes back with the stronger force – pain.
·      That does it, it’s finally over. Here is where rehabilitation starts.
At first it’ll just be bad.  That’s your body not liking the feeling of getting clean. Basically it will be long lasting hangover.
Everyone deal with it in their own way, some like eating junk food in front of TV or computer, others will go and try to have as much meaningless sex as possible. I prefer to go in to 1-month tour of non-stop partying. That’s just the thing that works for me.

And then after all the suffering and depression, you’ll notice that you don’t really feel sad, and you don’t think of the other person all the time, and when you do, you don’t feel the need to reconnect.
Congratulations! Your system is clean, time to look for a new drug…

понедельник, 15 марта 2010 г.

How do you know that you are on the hook? :)

We sometimes think it's love, or at list that it might be... But are we really in love of we are just on a hook?

Here is what happens when he (or she) don't really like you... But he still want to keep you.

1. You are usually the one to call.

2. When you are asking for a date, your partner usually says something like:

"Oh, let's keep in touch"
"I might have a business meeting tonight, but I'll call you if I can cancel"
"This was a really hard week, maybe soon?" etc

3.He's not really canceling meeting ;)

4.When you are angry because he didn't have time for you, he says something like

"I really like you! I'm just not ready for a serious commitment ...now."
"I don't want to have a girlfriend (boyfriend) at the moment" (He probably already have one)
"I really want to focus on my carer!"

5.After sex, you are not really welcome at his place, or he really, really need to go to work, meeting, friend, bla bla...(Come on, like you didn't think that it's not normal?)

6.You spend your weekend waiting for his call...)

7.When he doesn't call - you call... And he sounds confused.

"Well, it's only been 2 days... I had really important stuff to do! (yeah, on the weekend)

8.He asks you to wait... (For what?)

9.He thinks that open relationship might be a good idea.

10.He never say anything nice to you... Because it's not in his nature.

11.He says too much of nice things to you, but never do anything to prove it.

12.You don't get to meet his friends.

13.Usually, he doesn't buy you presents (even post cards)... (Believe me, he does that to some other girls)

14.Every time you are spending time with him, you feel like you own him something for the precious time he is spending on you.

15.If you would ever try to confront him, he would be avoiding this conversation as long as possible, but if you'll still push him, he'll dump you.

Have fun in your love life...;)
Hope I didn't ruined your day.

воскресенье, 17 мая 2009 г.

Final! Last fun day!

Yes, it's now over, Norway will welcome all the Europe next year. This time I decided to watch Eurovision in the press zone, got to tell you it was even more fun then in the arena!

P.S. More photos will be later, when photographers will send them to me,

You are really starting to feel like a star when they shooting how you watch TV :)))

пятница, 15 мая 2009 г.

Almost over ;(

And here what happens when Eurovision comes to Russia ;)

пятница, 8 мая 2009 г.

My Eurovision!

Now I'm working as a journalist for the Eurovision. And that's how I spend my time :)


вторник, 28 апреля 2009 г.

Another wired dream!

So this time me and my dad went to have a vacation in some foreigner country. And as we were riding on a sunny road we saw the shady castle up on the mountain. So we decided to go and see what it is.
We walked in, and saw that it's an hotel based in the really old building. So we asked the hostess, what was the building for, before in turned in to hotel.
The answer was saying that long time ago, the girls private school used to be located here. And something terrible happened to all on the girls. So the school was closed.
For some reason we decided to stay in the hotel, and as I was walking through it at night, I saw lady in ages wearing an old style closes (around1800 th), and she was walking to me.
So we stared to talk.... She told me that she is the teacher of the class that is studying here, than she showed me the girls and introduced me to her assistant, who was a middle age bold guy.
After a long talk we had, she told me that they are all immortal, and that if I want, I can be immortal too because of my family roots. It all sounded so right, just like I belong there... And the idea of being immortal was pretty attractive...
Only when I woke up from a sound of a very strong wind blowing though my window, I realised that being immortal in that castle would mean death for me.

Yap this is the king of the dreams I have)))
See ya next time, my friends!

среда, 8 апреля 2009 г.

пятница, 3 апреля 2009 г.


Are you trying to be special?
Every day I'm starting my morning by trying to be little bit more like normal people. To be happy from the things that makes others happy, to care about stuff that's important to others, to act like people expect me to act. Why? So I won't end up alone in my room, writing this blog ;). And every time I start to get closer, every time I believe I can do that, something inside of me brakes and I just turn away from the world and hide inside my self, knowing that I just can't meet anyone like me...
It's nice to be different, but it's just really lonely.

четверг, 5 марта 2009 г.


What is it? Do we start relationship when we start to date, and do we really end it when we break up? And why is it only called relationship when two people have sexual interest in each other?

How about relationship between parents and they're children, or between friends? Aren't they important enough?

So what exactly do we call a relationship?

My friends are so much more important to me than anything else... They are more important than my family and of course they are more important than my boyfriends, because friendship is the thing for me that can last forever, friendship is something I can believe in, and aren't the love of your life supposed to be your best friend? Ok, I'm not saying that sex is not important part of life. But we all know that absolutely random sex can be pretty amazing! But we are people, not animals (well, at list some of us) and when we need help , when we are lonely, when we are happy or successful, who we want to share are life's with? Our lovers? No. Why? Because sex is just one of our needs, pretty fun need, but still, it's nothing more then an instinct. And again, aren't something you have between you and your lover can also be called relationship, just different one, the one where you care a little less.

So what is relationship? It is that communication you have between you and the other person. And how important it is, is only up to you... Just be careful, because from my experience people that crossed your road never live you completely even after they die.

But to finish on a more positive note, I would like to say thank you to my best friends, the ones that been there for me for many many years, who can see the real me and still love me. And to my new friends, the ones who were able to let me in to they're life's. Hope I won't disappoint you! You are the best relationship I've ever had!

Hugs ;)

What's it gonna be.

Here goes my first blog in here. I've never been smart and confident enough to believe that my writing would be actually interesting for other people. But somehow I just want to share my world with you and I'm trying to make it less boring then typical "my life" talking.

And one more thing… I’m from Moscow. So my English is not so good :).